Monday, August 25

10 Commandments of being a mistress

Dear Reader...

Now we shall change the morose monotones of this solitary blog of mine and get into matters of consequence. I, today shall spake my mind on the matter of mistresses. So here goes:

In order to be a successful mistress, here's what you need to know:

1. You are in it because you want to be here. No one's doing any a favour.
2. Do not expect support. Time, money or children. The day you want the latter, its time to move on.
3. Accept the reality that you will be the third priority for ever. Family, job (or vice versa) and then you.
4. You will have more power than you can imagin. Use it justly and with conscience.
5. Sex is important. Very important. It is probably what got the two of you together in the first place! A mistress worth her salt will know the importance of mastering the fine art of eroticism. Its not just what you do in bed... but the animal magnetism of your being that beckons. Seduction never stops, not even when you brush your teeth together.
6. To be well read and converse on variety of topics is a virtue. You see, men do not only think about sex all the time.
7. Take interest in what interests him. To value what the other values, is truly the only way to show one cares.
8. Take care of your own problems. You are the stress buster and not vice versa.
9. Have a high self-esteem. Being a mistress is not for the faint hearted. Its the only defense mechanism in a deal which was raw from the word go.
10. Last but not the least, keep your life to yourself. Do not enroll if you have Attention Deficit Disorder, Verbal Diarrhea or if you tend to talk after downing a vodka or two.

Nothing can teach you the meaning of unconditional love like this one can. Nothing can teach you to be grateful (and how!) for time you get with your loved one. Nothing teaches you independence and self-reliance... because there is no safety net you see. It essentially makes you a better human being.

So this one goes out to all the women out there... who've chosen to walk the road less travelled. It goes to those who absorb familial stress which is not theirs, contribute to raising kids who are not theirs, and essentially maintain sanity in a house which otherwise would have gone berserk, and which is not theirs.

And what's in it for them? Well... that's a question one needs to answer when they enroll for the course. It could be love, sex, personal growth, companionship, sense of contribution... or all of this.

"I'd like to have you as my mistress. I hope you understand that its a compliment."


Anonymous said...

I think you have said i quite well the risks and the attitude that you need to take and accept as a mistress. I think also, you for got to say that a mistress is in a position to be cruel and wage pain on the family that she has "joined". I wonder if mistresses are generally happy with their situations?

Anonymous said...

Mistress may be like superglue sometimes who binds the marriage that is falling apart. people derogate this self sacrificing person who provides love,support and physical happiness to a husband and father who is wounded by an abusive wife but can not divorce due to sense of duty towards his wife and children. I applaud such a mistress who are "home savers" and not "home wreckers"

Anonymous said...

That's not true. The misstress has a big allowance almost always. Nobody d be that stubit to be there just waithing hello... Keep dreaming... Women make big money being mistresses.. Big...
Bloomberg has girls that get all 50k per month...
Name it... Misstress is the best job...Plus apartaments all