I think my colour is purple rt now

I have broken up. And its really hard. This is not going to be a post which makes one go awww. I hope it will make you see the way I do though.
I am not bitter, angry or bitter... to drive the point home. I have invested several years in this thing. And in the end I have decided that I will not be a victim of my own love.
The truth is that there is unbearable pain sometimes. There is amazing frustration of not having someone around who completely gets you. I feel like I stand here at the end of 27 years... not having anyone with a complete understanding of an unabridged version of FR. I feel lonely. Yes I do.
But everytime there is a voice within that tells me... hey guess what I know. I know everything and I will love you reckless till the end of times. It makes me grateful for the fact that there are two people, slowly growing old and mellow at home who wait for me. I want them to know they will always have me.
I think it was for this love that I will actually walk this path alone and be ok with it. There is a difference in being alone and being lonely. I choose to be alone.
The need within to show my pain and see that understanding in someone's eyes is very strong. I don't need pity. I just would like to tell me story and know that another soul can make sense of the language I speak in. Till then, I'd be happy to go look in the mirror every time I feel this. I read this in a book lately, that has come to mean a lot to me:

.... somewhere from within me rises a now familiar voice, offering me all the certainities I always wished another person would offer me when I was troubled:
" I'm here. I love you. I don't care if you need to stay up crying all night long. I will stay with you. If you need the medication again, go ahead and take it - I will love you through that, as well. If you don't need medication I will love you, too. There is nothing you can ever do to lose my love. I will protect you until you die, and after your death I will still protect you. I am stronger than depression and I am braver than lonliness and nothing will ever exhaust me.

So its begun. Wish me luck. I am hoping to do well. Through the black nights and stubborn cynicism, the cold I feel within and sometimes this whole feeling that I can't feel a thing. I would like to stop scribbling I'm cynical in my notebook. I'd like to be able to trust again. I'd like this voice in my head to stop predicting exactly how everything's gonna go wrong. I'd like to start feeling again. I'd like to feel enthusiasm. I'd like to go back to being the person who brought energy in the room she entered. I'd like to smile often. So here it is... the list of things I'd like rather than the ones I hate rt now.

Did I say wish me luck?