Lethargy

So can you be in love with someone if you don't like who you are with them? If you feel humiliated and defeated... and all that you can feel is so much pain that it numbs you... right when you should be screaming your head off... you just nod. Just nod. Just nod. When you reach a point that you don't expect them to understand anymore because it will start a conversation you do not have energy for. When you cry... but not because you expect a gesture of warmth. It comes straight from the soul. Like it needs to be emptied. When you do not wish to hope, for it needs courage and that needs stamina. So I am done. Or somewhere close to it.